With or Without You Page 6

  Tessa turned into the parking lot. Good, not too busy, but enough cars that there would be witnesses if his reaction was really bad. Okay now her thoughts were ridiculous. He might hate her…would hate her after she told him. But he couldn’t kill her and dispose of her body, because he needed Tessa to meet Brianna. Then they both could kill her.

  Matt had told her he’d rented a blue SUV. There was an empty space next to one. Not sure if it was his, she pulled in and parked beside it. Once she told Matt, she assumed there’d be some yelling. At least parked next to him she could make a quick getaway.

  Her hands shook as she held the steering wheel. She could put this car in reverse and drive away. Drive until she ran out of gas or road. No, she couldn’t avoid the inevitable. Brianna wanted to meet her father. Tessa got out of the car and crossed the parking lot.

  The restaurant was noisy.

  “How many?” the hostess asked, grabbing a menu from her stack.

  “I’m meeting someone.” She wondered if Matt would recognize her without her Hollywood makeover. Gone were the high heels and glamour-girl clothes. She wore jeans, a top and Crocs. She’d pulled her hair into a ponytail and hadn’t bothered with make-up. What would be the point? By the end of the evening she’d be in tears anyway.

  She weaved her way through tables. Her heart hammered in her chest. Anxiety laced her blood and made her nerves raw with tension. She made her way to the back of the restaurant. Maybe the rental in the parking lot wasn’t his.

  And then she saw him.

  Damn, he looked good. He wore black Dockers and a white shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. Business casual meets masculine precision. Memories of their recent night together flashed through her mind. She bit her tongue to keep from moaning his name.

  Matt glanced up from the menu. Tessa stood a few feet from the booth clutching her purse in her hands. Their eyes locked. Damn, she looked young. He stood and she approached.

  He cupped her cheek with his hand, bent his head and pressed his lips to hers. She whimpered and her lips parted. He dipped his tongue into her mouth for a taste and then pulled back.

  His heart pounded and a slight tremor chased up his spine. He’d envisioned this moment since the last time he’d seen her. She took his breath, yet filled him with anticipation. Not just because he was attracted to her, but Tessa made life interesting again.

  He escorted her to the booth. After sitting across from her, he took her hand over the table and laced their fingers.

  “I’m glad you called.” He’d been surprised. She’d seemed adamant about not getting together before the reunion.

  She pulled her hand back and picked up the menu.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “A little.” She opened the menu.

  “I think I’ll get the steak fajitas.”

  She mumbled something.

  He put his finger on top of the menu and pulled it down so he could hear her. “I think you said, ‘That sounds good’.”

  She smiled. “Sorry, I did say that.”

  “Well, they have fajitas for two if you want to share.”

  She closed her menu and set it to the side. “So how was your flight?”

  They exchanged pleasantries while waiting for their meal. Tessa seemed hesitant to take the conversation anywhere personal. Since he was just damn happy to see her again, he could care less what they talked about. He loved the sound of her voice, the way her lips formed words. But unlike a week ago, her eyes didn’t sparkle. She looked tired.

  The waitress arrived with a sizzling pan and set it on the table between them. The aromatic meat popped and smoked. Next to it, the waitress set a platter of peppers, sour cream, tomatoes, guacamole and cheese.

  Rather than reach across the table to share, Matt slid out of his side of the booth. “Do you mind if we sit beside each other?”

  Tessa scooted in and Matt sat close to her, their thighs touching. He opened the container of tortillas and put one on each of their plates. Pausing before filling his tortilla, he turned his body toward her. With her hair pulled back he could see the rapid beats of her pulse in her long, graceful neck. He gazed into her face and intense emotions clenched his gut. How was it possible that he’d missed her? He barely knew her.

  Tessa fidgeted with her silverware. “Matt, tell me about your daughter. What’s her name?”

  Matt turned his attention back to the food. He scooped up a few pieces of steak and put them on her tortilla. “Rebecca. She’s a cheerleader at the high school. Runs track. And collects boys like she used to collect butterflies.” He chuckled. “I have a picture.” He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. He flipped past her baby picture, kindergarten and a dance recital. He had his picture taken with her on her last birthday. He handed his wallet to Tessa. “She leaves for England in a few weeks for an exchange student program. It’ll be lonely without her.”

  Tessa held the wallet with shaking fingers. She sucked in a breath. “She’s beautiful.” Tessa snapped the wallet closed and handed it back. “Your kids take after you. She has your eyes.”

  “Kid, just one.”

  “Of course, that’s what I meant.” Tessa forked up some peppers and tossed them on her tortilla. “Did you want more kids?” She took a bite.

  “Pam didn’t think she could pursue her career and motherhood. I think Rebecca was a conciliatory gift for me.” He took a drink of soda. “I wish I had more time with her, but her school and cheer schedule take up most of it.” He built his fajita. “Once she grew older, Pam liked having her around. I suppose I should be grateful, but I can’t help feeling a little bitter. When Rebecca was growing up we spent a lot of time together, doing all the daddy-daughter activities.”

  Tessa choked on a sip of iced tea.

  He gave her a pat on the back. Then the pat turned to a caress of her shoulder. Heat from her body warmed his hand. “And now she’ll be gone for the school year. And listening to her mother talk, she’ll be doing the same program next year.”

  “Then you’ll have her for summers.”

  He shrugged. “At least part of them.” He paused, his gaze lingering on her mouth while she chewed and swallowed.

  Tessa met his stare and smiled.

  “I’m glad you changed your mind about meeting me.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

  “Before this goes any further we need to talk.”

  “I agree,” he whispered.

  He would’ve tried to kiss her, but she turned away and took a big bite of her fajita. He was hungry too. And they had the rest of the night to talk…hopefully more than the rest of the night. He wanted to spend the weekend with her. Go to the reunion, enjoy the nights in each other’s arms, and talk about what the future might hold for them.

  They both ate with purpose and it wasn’t long before the waitress brought the bill. He took care of it and they left the restaurant. Matt stood in the parking lot next to Tessa. “Would you like to come to my hotel room for a nightcap?”

  “No,” she snapped. “I mean…” She glanced up and down the parking lot. “Maybe we can go to my house for a cup of coffee.” She crossed her arms. “We need to talk.” She sounded breathless.

  He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “No pressure, Tessa.” He tipped her face to his. “Coffee and conversation sound good.”

  She sighed and nodded her head. “Just follow me home.”

  She practically ran to her vehicle. He could have walked with her. They were parked next to each other. He slid behind the wheel of the SUV. Once Tessa drove her sedan out of the parking lot, he followed.

  The drive took less than five minutes. She pulled into the garage and Matt parked on the street in front of the house.

  She waited for him by the walk to the front door.

  Tessa lived in a nice house, not too big, and well-kept. She preceded him inside and turned on a light.

  The walls were painted taupe. Soft lighting, lots of plants.
Not a house, but a home. Pictures of Brianna hung on the wall and a giant clock hung above the fireplace. Leather living room furniture was situated for conversations rather than to watch television. He glanced around. She didn’t have a television.

  The living room, dining room and kitchen were basically one large room. She crossed to the kitchen area and set her purse on the table.

  “Coffee?”

  “Yes, but not yet,” she said.

  She glanced at him over her shoulder.

  In the restaurant he hadn’t much choice but to keep his hands to himself. Now they were alone…he assumed they were alone.

  “Is Brianna here?”

  She spun around. “No. Why?”

  He stalked closer. “Because I want to do this.” He bent his head and sealed their mouths. She tasted good, better than he remembered. Her lips parted and he plundered her mouth. Then he sipped her lips. She softened in his arms. Matt groaned, shifted his head and ate at her mouth with the hunger of a starving man.

  He trailed kisses along her jaw. Tessa’s fingers sifted through his hair and she pulled him closer. Blood filled his cock. Pleasure infused his thoughts. She felt good in his arms. She felt right.

  His palm cupped her breast and she moaned. “Where’s your bedroom, Tessa?”

  “Oh God, we can’t have sex. We have so much to talk about first.”

  “I need to be with you.” He kissed her again and she leaned into him. “We’ll do plenty of talking after.” Matt pulled back and lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. Reaching behind his head, he yanked his own shirt off. “This isn’t just sex, Tessa. I want to make love.”

  Matt flicked her pebbled nipple through her pink lace bra with the tip of his finger. “Have you thought about us?” He grazed his knuckles over the flat plane of her belly.

  “Yes.” She sucked in air. “I’ve thought of little else, actually.”

  He popped the button on her jeans and lowered the zipper. “Did you touch yourself when you thought of me?” He reached inside, into her damp panties. His middle finger brushed her wet curls, and then parted her slit.

  “Sometimes. Matt…”

  “Mmmm?” He thrust a finger past her moist, hot folds, deep into her center.

  “Ahhh.”

  He twisted and pumped his finger as much as her jeans would allow. He wanted more. With his other hand, he shimmied her jeans, along with her panties, over her hips and down her thighs.

  Tessa sat on the table and kicked off her jeans. “Why can’t I keep my pants on when I’m with you?”

  He chuckled then paused. He wanted her to understand this was more than sex. Logistics might be a problem, but it could be a temporary one. A medical referral agency could easily place him in Utah. Maybe it was too soon to talk about permanence. He only knew he’d been through hell the past week wondering what happened in Los Angeles, why she’d left. “I’m not going anywhere, Tessa.” He kissed her, nibbled her lips and combed the hair at her temples with his fingers. “Tell me you feel this connection between us too.” He gazed into her eyes, warming with passion.

  “I do.” She blinked quickly. “But I have so much to tell you and I’m afraid you’ll hate me after I do.”

  He brushed her lips again. “I can’t hate you.” Another kiss. “I’m falling in love with you.”

  Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and clutched her body to his. Her thighs spread and Matt nestled his groin against her bare heat. “Oh Matt, a part of my heart has belonged to you for twenty years.”

  Matt rested his forehead against hers. Whispered words from her lips mirrored the sentiment in his soul. Twenty years ago he’d glimpsed one possible future. He hadn’t realized what had slipped through his fingers.

  He unzipped his pants and let them drop. Not the most romantic encounter, but he had to be inside of her…now. His cock loomed large. Cream glistened on the bulging head and seeped from the slit. He pressed his thumb to the thick vein running the throbbing length. Dark, raw desire ripped through his gut. His stomach clenched. Grabbing her hips, he scooted her forward until her ass was in line with the edge of the table. Then he spread her thighs and maneuvered between them.

  Tessa took her hands from around his neck and placed her palms flat on the table a little behind her. With her arms locked, she braced her upper body. Wrapping her legs around him, she hooked her feet and urged him closer.

  Matt would never look at a kitchen table the same way again. A grin tilted his lips as he fit the head of his cock to her drenched opening. With deliberate slowness he eased his penis inside. Skin to skin. Heat to heat. He watched her pussy eat his cock. Pulling out, his shaft glistened with her juices. Then he pressed forward again.

  “Tessa, you feel so good.” He relished in the sensation of her tight internal walls relaxing to encase his shaft. Muscles in his ass clenched and he drove deeper. Velvet softness gloved his cock. He groaned and thrust until his groin pressed flush against her pelvis.

  “Yes.” Tessa cried out. Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “Oh God, I’m going to come apart.” Her thighs quivered.

  “Perfect.” Matt gripped her hips and nearly pulled her off the table as he banged his cock to the top of her core. Her channel clenched his shaft. In and out, fast for a few strokes and then slow to fend off the delirium of orgasm. Her breasts bounced and her erect nipples jutted forth. Matt bent forward and grasped a puckered tip between his teeth, sucked it into his mouth and then let it pop free.

  Tessa cried out. “I’m coming.”

  “Let go, sweetheart.” He increased his speed, pumped his hips harder. Her pupils dilated and her teeth sank into her lower lip. Violent spasms quivered through her pussy. Wave after wave of aftershocks milked his cock.

  Matt pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and tried to last a few moments more. He wasn’t ready to come. The slick heat of her channel deliciously caressed his shaft. A few more strokes and he’d let go. Faster. Harder. “Oh fuck.” Deeper. He groaned and hot come spurted from his cock. Euphoric pleasure numbed his mind. Bright light exploded behind his closed eyes as he filled her with cream.

  Tessa’s legs dropped limply to his sides and she lay back on the table. Matt ran his hands over her hips and up her ribs. Her breasts were soft and malleable in his palms. Squeezing them gently, he pinched and rolled her nipples between his fingers.

  He sucked in great gulps of air. “You’re amazing.”

  Tessa sat up. “I’ll be back in a minute.” She slid off the table, gathered her clothes and went down the hall.

  “Tessa—”

  “I’m fine,” she croaked. “Give me a minute.”

  Chapter Seven

  Shitshitshitshit! What in the hell was she doing having sex with Matt again? And without a condom. In…oh…about ten seconds she was going to be his least loved person in the world and she’d still be twitching from incredible sex. She stomped her foot. In twenty years her judgment hadn’t improved.

  She cleaned up the evidence of her stupidity and Matt’s incredible prowess then changed into sweats. When she rejoined Matt in the living room, he’d put his pants on but still was without a shirt.

  “Hey,” he quietly said and took a step toward her.

  “Wait.” She put her hand up, stopping his approach. Tears burned behind her eyes. “We need to talk.” Emotion clogged her throat. Heat radiated from her skin. Her hands shook and it felt like her nerves had become live electrical wires. Skin was the only thing holding her together. But she could do this, because Brianna had a right to know her father. And Matt…her heart thundered.

  She’d spent her life loving him because of Brianna. Transferring those emotions to the man standing across from her had happened so easily, without even realizing she’d done it. Oh God, she was about to vomit. Her stomach rolled and pitched. She licked her trembling lips.

  Matt ignored her words and crossed the room, concern reflected in his focused eyes. “Something isn’t right.” His
fingertips brushed her bangs from her face. “Talk to me.” His voice was low and soothing.

  “I think I should sit down and so should you.” She took his hand and led him to the sofa, but she didn’t sit next him, choosing to sit across from him so she could look him in the eyes and hope he understood the decision she’d made.

  She chewed her lips, deciding how to approach the subject. Her heart hurt because it pounded so hard.

  “I need to be honest about how you came to be on the Jade show.” She rubbed her palms on her thighs.

  “The show?” Matt leaned back and crossed one knee over the other.

  Tessa stood and walked to the windows. “Oh God, this is hard.” She turned back to Matt. “It’s a long story and I’m not really sure how to tell you.”

  “Just say it.” Matt’s gaze never wavered. He tracked her as she paced across the room.

  “It’s not that easy. I managed for all these years to keep a secret.” She took the seat across from Matt again. “But the truth is that I’ve lied to Brianna about her father. I didn’t tell her who he was even though I’ve always known.” Tears blurred her vision. “You see—” her voice trembled, “—he was destined for better than a teenage pregnancy. We weren’t close.” She wished Matt would say something, but he just watched her. His lips thinned and his eyes remained focused on her. Matt was too intuitive not to realize this story would somehow relate to him. If she didn’t want him guessing, she needed to tell him and accept whatever anger he justifiably felt.

  “When she was little she asked who her father was and I told her—sort of. I told her about a man that I’d dreamed about all through high school. Only I made those dreams the truth. I told her stories about you.”

  Matt leaned forward. “You told her I was her father?”

  “No. Oh God, Matt.” The tears fell. “I told her about you, but I didn’t tell her who you were.”

  Matt didn’t seem to be listening. He stood, crossed the room and stared at Brianna’s picture on the wall.