With or Without You Page 4

The reverence in his tone nearly made her weep.

  “You still are.” He threaded his fingers through the hair over her ears. “In a wholly different way.”

  Damn, but if he didn’t stop showering her with compliments she’d lose her heart along with the will that had deserted her the moment he walked on the stage of the television show.

  “I signed your yearbook.” She took it from his lap and flipped to the last page. “Here.” She pointed to the passage.

  “Someday, if I ever have kids, I’m going to warn my daughter about boys like you.” He glanced up at her. “You drew a smiling face by your name.”

  She shrugged. “It was supposed to be a joke.”

  “So did you?”

  “Warn my daughter about guys like you?” She laughed and shook her head. “I think we’ve already hashed through what I told my daughter about you.”

  “That we were lovers.”

  “Yes,” she said on a breath.

  Matt closed the book and dropped it on the floor. “We were.”

  “But only for one night.”

  He stared into her eyes. “We can change that.”

  Chapter Four

  Tessa didn’t hesitate when he pulled her into his arms. Lips brushed lips. She moaned and opened her mouth. Tongues slid against one another in velvety strokes. Shifting his head, he took the kiss deeper. Tessa clutched his shirt.

  Heat from his palm warmed her arm as his fingers toyed with the strap over her shoulder. She arched her back, inviting a more intimate touch. Matt growled, left her mouth and trailed moist kisses along her jaw. His tongue stroked the pulse point in her neck.

  “You smell so good.” He flicked her earlobe then gently nibbled the shell of her ear.

  Tessa placed her hands on the sculpted sinew of Matt’s thighs and leaned into him. “You feel so good.” She moved her hand, reveling in the feel of him beneath her fingers.

  They kissed again and her mouth opened for his passionate exploration. Her heart raced in frenzied anticipation. She wanted this, needed him. Finally his hand cupped her breast.

  “Oh.” She arched, pressing her pebbled nipple into his palm. Her fingers dug into his thighs as she gripped his leg. Tingles chased down her spine and into her sex. Matt’s other hand slid around to the zipper on the back of her dress. Cool air touched her skin, contrasting with the heat of his knuckles as they grazed her spine.

  Matt broke the kiss. Their eyes locked as he lowered the front of her dress. “Beautiful.”

  If anything, her nipples tightened harder, growing erect under his gaze. He bent his head. Moist breath caressed her areola and then his lips plucked the taut peak.

  Tessa put her hands on the sides of his head and anchored him to her. Matt pulled her flesh into his hot, wet mouth. Sucking, pressing his tongue against the tip, he heightened her responses. The pressure sent awareness straight into her cleft. Her thighs locked of their own volition.

  Slowly he eased her onto her back, laved one nipple then placed soft, wet kisses between her breasts and moved to the other erect peak. Never before had her nipples been so sensitive. The scruff of his five o’clock shadow grazed the smooth swell of her breast. Wet strokes of his tongue started a fire in her center. Heat radiated out from her core. Desperation to have him stretch her pussy with the thick, hard length of his cock pressing into her hip, overwhelmed her.

  Wild and wanton, Tessa worked the buttons on Matt’s dress shirt. Her fingers trembled. “Help me.” Her voice vibrated with passionate yearning. This was crazy. Tomorrow she’d chastise her reckless behavior. Tonight she couldn’t get to his flesh quick enough.

  Matt sat up and yanked the shirt from his body. Buttons popped. Her breath caught. He was flawless. Defined abdominals, wide shoulders and a tapered chest sparsely covered in dark hair. A thin ribbon disappeared into a trim, belted waistline. His cock flexed beneath the fabric of his trousers. She sat up, unable to keep from touching the bronzed perfection of his stomach. He sucked in a breath, and his skin quivered beneath her fingertips.

  Men didn’t have this effect on her. Her mouth was dry, her heart pounded, and wetness drenched her pussy and thighs. Tessa licked her lips and swallowed.

  Matt put his hand over hers. “Stay with me tonight.”

  Her gaze tracked up his torso. His breaths came fast and hard with the rise and fall of his chest. Clutching her dress over her breasts, she slid from the bed and stood before him. After a brief moment of understanding passed between them, she let go of the dress, allowing it to fall and pool at her feet.

  Brave beyond belief, she stood in front of him wearing tiny panties and high heels. She slipped off her heels. Tucking her thumbs into the waistband, she pushed the thong over her hips. Never breaking eye contact with Matt, she slipped them down her thighs, past her knees, to the floor. Straightening, she stood before him naked. Her heart threatened to break through her ribs. Heat flooded her cheeks, her nipples and the heart of her sex. She was in a hotel room with Matt Toler…naked!

  Aroused to the point where she could climax with one touch of his blunt finger, wetness seeped from her moist folds. And he just stared.

  “Say something.” Tessa lowered her eyes. When she glanced back into his face, a slow smile tilted his lips.

  Matt held out a hand. “Come here.”

  She took a step toward the bed. “I can’t believe I’m here with you.”

  He couldn’t either. Taking her hand, he encouraged her to get back on the bed with him. Twenty years had turned the girl into a woman…a fully aroused, sexual woman. His cock pulsed. Confined in his trousers, the pressure built behind the fly. “I’m wearing too many clothes.” He loosened the belt. “And we need a condom.”

  Crossing the room, he then turned off the lights. He lowered the zipper and dropped his trousers. Free from his slacks, his turgid cock throbbed. Blood rushed into the engorged shaft. He wrapped his fist around the base. A few strokes lessened the pressure, but nothing besides burying deep in Tessa would ease the ache.

  Lights from the city bathed the room in a romantic glow and cast shadows on the wall. He could see her silhouette on the bed. She watched him as he went to the bureau and opened the drawer.

  “Did you think this would happen?”

  He paused with a condom in his hand. “How could I?” He came to the bed and sat on the edge. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

  She smiled. They both knew that wasn’t what she meant. But neither one really wanted to discuss how they’d arrived at the moment, just that they were together, reconnecting.

  He brushed his lips against hers. “I remember kissing you.” Sating his hunger, he licked her bottom lip, slipped his tongue into her wet heat and swept the soft inner tissues of her cheek in a thunderous mating of mouths. He moaned and pulled her close.

  She sighed. “I remember everything.” Twining her arms around his neck, she pressed close to him, her nipples prodding his chest.

  A low growl rolled from Matt. He wrapped an arm around her waist and positioned Tessa on her back. “Spread your legs,” he whispered in the darkened room. Starting at her neck, he ran his hand over her shoulder and across her collarbone. He lifted her heavy breast then rolled the taut cherried tip between his thumb and finger. Her back bowed off the bed. “You like that.”

  “Yes,” she hissed between her teeth when he did it again to the other nipple.

  He bent and suckled her breast while his hand drifted lower, over her toned abdomen. He stopped at the juncture of her lithe thighs.

  “Please.” Her hips arched toward his hand.

  Responding to her plea, he touched her pearly folds with the tip of his middle finger and parted her slit. Wetness coated his hand. Slipping a finger deep into her pussy, he coaxed her honey to flow.

  Tessa moaned and rocked her hips. Matt inserted a second finger. Sliding in and out, he teased her close to orgasm. He loved her mewing responses to his touch. Needing more, craving a taste of her, he slid down her body until he
could put her legs over his shoulders.

  His cock was so fucking hard that he had to get her off before he entered her. At this level of arousal he’d never last more than a few strokes. He put his mouth to her plump pussy lips and slid his tongue between the hot, dewy folds.

  “Matt.” Her voice cut through the silence in the room. He didn’t respond. She tasted too sweet, too hot. He lapped at the intoxicating nectar between her legs. Drunk on desire, he savored her essence. He pressed his tongue to her clit then flicked the nubbin.

  “Yes!” Her hands fisted in his hair and held him to her. Her hips thrust against his mouth.

  She tightened. Her thighs locked against his head and then with a cry she crested and came into his mouth. He worked his jaw, flicked his tongue and ground his face into her as she rode her orgasm.

  The spasms ebbed. Tessa released a shuddering breath and calmed the rapid rise and fall of her chest. She relaxed her muscles and allowed her thighs to fall open. Matt ripped the wrapper from the condom and rolled the latex over his shaft. When he glanced at Tessa he found her watching him with passion glazing her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded and held her arms to him.

  Matt hovered above her, his hips between her creamy, smooth thighs. He braced his upper body with his arms. The head of his cock brushed her opening, parted her slit and slid inside her hot sheath. He closed his eyes and reveled in the wet glove encasing his shaft. He eased back then filled her again. Tight walls sucked him deep. He ground his hips against hers.

  Tessa moaned, wrapped her legs around his lower back and pulled him closer.

  “Look at me, Tessa.”

  She did as he asked and he increased the speed of his stroke and the depth of his thrust. Friction heated his cock and her moist walls quivered. She was on the brink of release…taking him with her. In and out with full strokes. Faster. Deeper. Harder.

  “Oh God, yes!” Tessa’s head thrashed on the pillow as her pussy milked his cock. With a shout, Matt followed her into euphoric release. He remained buried in her heat until the spasms eased. Then he slipped from her body.

  “Don’t move.” He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When he returned, Tessa had one arm draped across her belly and the other over her eyes.

  He snuggled in next to her.

  Tessa laughed lightly and turned to him. “So I don’t remember it being like that between us.”

  She was right. Sex hadn’t been this good between them. However, for him sex had never been this good. Matt put his lips on her forehead. “Let’s get some rest.” He rolled over and pulled the bedspread down.

  Tessa sat up. “Oh Matt, I wish I could, but I should go back to my own room.”

  “We’ll call the front desk and get a wakeup call. You can be back in your room before Brianna realizes you didn’t sleep in your own bed.”

  Tessa hesitated then nodded. Matt picked up the phone, called the front desk and asked for a five a.m. wakeup.

  Matt combed his fingers through her hair as they cuddled together beneath the comforter. Her smooth legs entwined with his and her head rested on his chest. The subtle fragrance of her perfume mingled with the musky scent of sex still hanging heavy in the darkened room. Pleasure surged through his body. “I enjoyed today.”

  She sighed and melted into his arms. She traced circles on his chest with her fingertip. “Me too.”

  “We need to exchange email addresses and phone numbers. I don’t want to lose touch.” He trailed his fingers over her shoulder. “I want to see you again. I’d love to show you Chicago.”

  Her hand stilled. “That would be nice.”

  Matt wished he could reconsider attending the reunion, but he’d already committed to work engagements. The only reason he’d alter his schedule would be to see Tessa. He could do that without going to the reunion.

  The reunion—besides being busy at the hospital and the fact that he hadn’t kept in touch with the old gang, he hadn’t wanted to go because he didn’t want to be scrutinized. Yes, he’d achieved financial success in his life. As a surgeon, he held the respect of his colleagues, but he also had a failed marriage and a teenage daughter he didn’t see often enough. Rekindling long-lost friendships didn’t appeal to him…until now.

  Tessa’s even breathing lulled Matt. He slowly exhaled and relaxed into the pillows. He’d close his eyes for a few minutes—just long enough to recover. Then he’d make love to her again.

  Tessa opened her eyes but didn’t move. Matt’s heavy arm was wrapped around her waist as he spooned behind her on the bed. She tried to keep still, but it was difficult with adrenaline racing through her blood. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Pretending to adjust in sleep, she turned toward the alarm clock.

  Shit. Ten minutes until the wakeup call and Tessa needed to get the hell out of the room. If she stayed, Matt would ask for her email address and phone number again. Clearly he wanted this one-night stand, well, their second one-night stand, to lead into something more. He’d asked her to come to Chicago. Granted, the haze of sexual satisfaction could have been his motivation. She wasn’t sticking around to find out. Any future with Matt was impossible.

  Not that she wanted to blame her behavior on champagne consumption, but dammit there wasn’t anyone or anything else she could blame it on. She’d come to his room to have sex, to find out if her memories were accurate. Well, she’d discovered plenty. Her memories paled in comparison. Matt’s hands, mouth and body had brought her intensity she’d never known as a mature adult woman.

  The stiffness of the sheets made it impossible to scoot quietly off the bed. She froze and made sure she hadn’t woken Matt. Letting out her breath, she tiptoed to her clothing. With the wakeup call a few minutes away she slipped on her panties, stepped into her dress and partially zipped the back. If luck was with her the hallway would be empty. With her shoes in one hand and her purse in the other, she quietly hurried to the door.

  She turned the handle. The loud click echoed in the room. She glanced over her shoulder. Matt stirred. His hand reached across the pillow. Shit. Time had run out. She slipped out the door and slowly closed it until it once again loudly clicked.

  Her pulse raced. If Matt woke and found her in the hall he’d want an explanation. She could see it now.

  So sorry, but I can’t see you again because my daughter will want to meet you and I’m a pretty good liar, but not that good, and oh, by the way, she’s your daughter.

  Tessa managed to sneak into her room without being caught by Matt. She paused by the door then dropped her shoes. Her luck only went so far. “Hi.”

  “Hmmm.” Brianna smiled. “You have a glow about you.” She tossed off the comforter and scooted off the bed. “So it was good.” She glanced at the clock. “Really good.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” Tessa rushed to her suitcase and pulled out her traveling clothes. “I’m going to take a shower. I’d like to get to the airport early. So you pack while I get ready and then I’ll pack while you get ready.”

  “Our plane doesn’t leave until this afternoon. Why don’t we call Matt and see if he wants to meet us for breakfast?”

  “No!” Tessa clutched her clothes to her chest. “He’s sleeping.”

  “You left him asleep?”

  This wasn’t working out. She wanted Brianna to forget all about Matt Toler. Once they left the hotel Matt wouldn’t know how to contact her and that was for the best. Okay, maybe only best for her. Deep inside she knew it was wrong to keep the truth from both of them. She just needed time to figure out how to explain what she’d done. At eighteen, Tessa had rationalized her decision. Matt had been a one-night stand. He was off to school to make a life for himself. If she had told him of the pregnancy he’d have hated her for ruining his future. Back then, she didn’t owe him any more than he owed her…which was nothing. Lying now cut her to the core. The truth would eventually come out. She just needed a bit of time to figure out how she wanted to tell Brianna. She needed tim
e to prepare. Tessa sighed. She was still lying…to herself. The truth—she was scared.

  “Just get packed.” Tessa went into the bathroom and started the shower. A lump the size of a boulder lodged in her throat. Now that Matt had reentered her life, it would be impossible to keep her secret. And when Brianna and Matt found out, how would they react to the knowledge that they were father and daughter? Would they hate her for keeping the truth from them? Over the years Tessa had done plenty of hating herself, but the choice had been made and with each passing year the truth became harder…impossible to tell.

  When Tessa stepped out of the bathroom she was dressed, hair done in her usual ponytail and no makeup. Makeover over. “Your turn.”

  “Matt called while you were in the shower. I told him you’d call him back.” Brianna grabbed her stuff and hurried into the bathroom. “And I told him we’d go to breakfast.” The door slammed before Tessa could argue.

  Fear squeezed her chest. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Did she really have anything to worry about? Maybe it would be best if she just stomped into the bathroom and told Brianna the truth.

  When Brianna was about fourteen she’d asked about her father. Not the “Where’s my dad?” inquiries she’d made as a little girl, but the developing woman who’d learned about sex in maturation class asked who her father was. And she’d wanted to know where he was.

  Tessa hadn’t lied. But she couldn’t tell the truth either. So she’d danced around the facts. The one thing she’d never given Brianna, his name. Eventually Brianna quit asking.

  Guilt washed over her. She could make things right with one phone call. However, her hand wouldn’t reach for the phone. Too much time had passed. In her heart she believed Brianna would understand. It was Matt’s reaction she feared. Would he hate her? How could he not?

  In one afternoon she’d fallen for him all over again. Making love had been an extension of what had always existed in her heart. Her reactions to Matt were as strong today as they were when she was a young girl. But there wasn’t any going back in time. And now, there were too many secrets between them…secrets he could never know. Not after twenty years.